I Don’t Think We Know Each Other That Well…

How well do you have to know someone to ask them to help you move?  I mean, do you really want some casual acquaintance carrying your underwear drawer or helping you sort through your comic book collection?

At what point is it appropriate to ask someone when they plan on having kids?  This is a question that my wife and I are asked often.  I usually respond by asking the inquirer when they are planning on having kids.  If they have the Duggar-syndrome, I ask them when they are going to stop having kids or just inform them that they have enough children for the both of us.

Social conventions are just weird.  For example, when you randomly talk to someone that you’ve never met before (maybe at a restaurant or in an elevator) and you say, “How’s it going?”  What do you do when they start unloading all of their baggage?  It seems appropriate to be kind and gracious but it’s still awkward.

My only solution is to find people that you can really get to know well.  Share your life with those people.  Then it won’t feel awkward when they ask you to help them move, share their problems with you, or question you about your reproductive plans!

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3 thoughts on “I Don’t Think We Know Each Other That Well…”

  1. Unfortunately, I know how you feel. Maybe not with the whole “when are you having children” aspect but I get these a lot:
    when are you getting married?
    what will you do when you are done with seminary?
    what are your life plans if you don’t get married?
    The questions come from well meaning people…. I usually tell them to talk to God about it. Maybe He will give them some insight about my life that they could share with me.
    I did get asked by a stranger where the bathroom was in a grocery store… 15 minutes later (after telling him twice) he told me he went in his pants. Apparently inappropriate questions/statements do not just come from people you are acquaintances with.

    I think that there is an awkward stage in friendship though that has to be broken through. And as a minister, small group leader or active church member- people may feel like they know you without actually KNOWING you. I think the only real way around that is being broken and in need of the cross around others. Some people will walk away and say it’s too much to handle but there will be the special few that can and will share burdens and joys when those questions are asked and answered.

    1. I hear what you’re saying. I think my point was you need people with whom you can be vulnerable.

      Hope all is well and maybe we’ll see you soon!

  2. We all need people in our lives who have the freedom to ask inappropriate questions… as well as the difficult questions and the pointed questions. But, we have to build trust with one another to get to that point. This means that we have to put a priority on building relationships with one another by spending time (alot of time) with one another.

    -Alan

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